1. Love and accept yourself
2. Be willing to pursue intimacy
It requires honesty
Risk is unavoidable
Trust is essential
Confrontation is inevitable
3. Put energy into being likable
Smile often
Listen more than you talk
Be positive
4. Treat others as you would have them treat you
DON’T be controlling, critical or crabby
DO be courteous, caring and complimentary
5. Focus on the interests of others, not yourself
"Friendship without self interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life." - James Francis Byrnes
6. Make your goal to understand, not to win
7. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive
"Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends." - Henry Brooks Adams
8. Be generous with others
9. Help others succeed
Help them discover their strengths
Help them achieve their goals
Believe in them
10. Be loyal
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." - George Washington, 1732-1799
"I can never think of promoting my convenience at the expense of a friend's interest and inclination." - George Washington
Peace,
Stan
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Fear Factor
We all have fears. Fear debilitates a person. Fear often is based on the unknown or things over which we have no control. Worry and depression accompany fear. In this world there is much to fear. Terrorists plot our death daily. We are in a financial crisis. Israel and the Palestinians could drag us into world war. Thieves lurk everywhere, including cyberspace. Diseases, global warming, rising health and insurance costs, the cost of college education, will there be social security when I retire. What if the stock market fails? Will my kids turn out ok?
Pastor Chad shared with me from his research that the three greatest fears of man are: 1) fear of death, 2) fear of rejection, and 3) fear of loss. Fear creates panic and loss of judgment. A woman from Arkansas was sitting in her car in a parking lot when she heard a loud bang and felt a sharp pain in the back of her head. Another woman walked past the car and said, “Are you okay?” The lady in pain said, “I have been shot in the head and I am holding my brains in.” It was not her brains. It was dough. A Pillsbury biscuit container had exploded in the back seat, apparently from the heat. Fear causes us to do strange things.
Those who have a strong relationship with the Lord overcome their fears. The psalmist declared, "The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid." (Psalm 27:1) Yet, there is a fear, which is proper and beneficial. There is great reward for those who fear the Lord. Psalm 25:14 proclaims, “The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.” In Proverbs 22:4 we read, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.”
The fear of the Lord is the wholesome dread of displeasing the Lord. To quote one of my facebook friends, Joan, "I fear dishonoring, displeasing or disrespecting the Lord in any way. I love Him and would never want to hurt Him in any way, even though I know I have disappointed Him and myself many, many times. I am not afraid of God, but I fear hurting Him in any way or being or doing any of these negative things towards Him. Fearing the Lord, to me, means giving Him the respect, honor, glory, etc. that He and only He deserves. I know he's a God of his word and He will do what he says he will do. I fear the consequences of my own words and actions because I know he does not compromise." Amen, sister.
If I fear the Lord, then I willingly obey Him, whether or not I immediately see the benefit or advantage. Just like our natural parents, our hevenly father, commands us to do things we do not always understand at the moment. Yet, later we are able to see the wisdom and the love they had in training us to live a better life with better results. God loves you and wants the best for you. Walk in the fear of the Lord. There is great reward.
Peace,
Stan
Pastor Chad shared with me from his research that the three greatest fears of man are: 1) fear of death, 2) fear of rejection, and 3) fear of loss. Fear creates panic and loss of judgment. A woman from Arkansas was sitting in her car in a parking lot when she heard a loud bang and felt a sharp pain in the back of her head. Another woman walked past the car and said, “Are you okay?” The lady in pain said, “I have been shot in the head and I am holding my brains in.” It was not her brains. It was dough. A Pillsbury biscuit container had exploded in the back seat, apparently from the heat. Fear causes us to do strange things.
Those who have a strong relationship with the Lord overcome their fears. The psalmist declared, "The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid." (Psalm 27:1) Yet, there is a fear, which is proper and beneficial. There is great reward for those who fear the Lord. Psalm 25:14 proclaims, “The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.” In Proverbs 22:4 we read, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.”
The fear of the Lord is the wholesome dread of displeasing the Lord. To quote one of my facebook friends, Joan, "I fear dishonoring, displeasing or disrespecting the Lord in any way. I love Him and would never want to hurt Him in any way, even though I know I have disappointed Him and myself many, many times. I am not afraid of God, but I fear hurting Him in any way or being or doing any of these negative things towards Him. Fearing the Lord, to me, means giving Him the respect, honor, glory, etc. that He and only He deserves. I know he's a God of his word and He will do what he says he will do. I fear the consequences of my own words and actions because I know he does not compromise." Amen, sister.
If I fear the Lord, then I willingly obey Him, whether or not I immediately see the benefit or advantage. Just like our natural parents, our hevenly father, commands us to do things we do not always understand at the moment. Yet, later we are able to see the wisdom and the love they had in training us to live a better life with better results. God loves you and wants the best for you. Walk in the fear of the Lord. There is great reward.
Peace,
Stan
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Write the Vision
For several years I have written out goals in my journal at the beginning of each year. It is fascinating how many of these goals have come true.Habakkuk 2:2 - 3 reads, "Then the LORD said to me, “Write the vision plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."
In 1953 researchers polled the graduating class of Yale University and found that 3% of the graduates practiced goal setting and had a set of clearly defined written goals. 1n 1973 researchers went back and visited the class of ’53 and found that the 3% of the graduates who had the clear and written goals had amassed a fortune worth more that the other 97% combined!
Goals need to be written in detail. They should be written in positive statements, not negative ones. Positive choices will reduce and/or eliminate the negative ones.
Goals should be set high enough. Shoot for the moon. If you miss you’ll still be in the stars. Goals should stretch you. Isaiah 54:2 - 3, "Make your tent bigger. Stretch it out and make it wider. Do not hold back. Make the ropes longer. Make its stakes stronger. Do this because you will begin growing very much. Your children will take over other nations. And they will again live in cities that once were destroyed."
I keep my goals in my DayTimer. I also post them in my place of prayer at home. Goals need attention to be fulfilled. I meditate on my goals often. To keep a person's heart pure, we should seek to be a blessing, not to be successful.
Write your goals and watch them come true.
Peace,
Stan
In 1953 researchers polled the graduating class of Yale University and found that 3% of the graduates practiced goal setting and had a set of clearly defined written goals. 1n 1973 researchers went back and visited the class of ’53 and found that the 3% of the graduates who had the clear and written goals had amassed a fortune worth more that the other 97% combined!
Goals need to be written in detail. They should be written in positive statements, not negative ones. Positive choices will reduce and/or eliminate the negative ones.
Goals should be set high enough. Shoot for the moon. If you miss you’ll still be in the stars. Goals should stretch you. Isaiah 54:2 - 3, "Make your tent bigger. Stretch it out and make it wider. Do not hold back. Make the ropes longer. Make its stakes stronger. Do this because you will begin growing very much. Your children will take over other nations. And they will again live in cities that once were destroyed."
I keep my goals in my DayTimer. I also post them in my place of prayer at home. Goals need attention to be fulfilled. I meditate on my goals often. To keep a person's heart pure, we should seek to be a blessing, not to be successful.
Write your goals and watch them come true.
Peace,
Stan
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Happy New Year
I know it has been nearly a month since I have last posted. Christmas time is fun, but busy. We conducted a major outreach before Christmas. 157 people made commitments to follow Christ. Our son, Morgan, came home from Thailand. He was in a four month internship there. He also travelled to Myanmar to do relief work and to Pakistan to hold evangelistic meetings and leadership conferences. Whitney was home from college. Laine and Lindy enjoyed their break from school also. Our close friends, the Powers family spent five days with us between Christmas and New Year's. The holidays were fun, but busy.
Now I am back in "work" mode. Well, one trip to Tulsa to get Morgan settled in for his first semester as a full time college student. Then, for sure, I will be in full swing. Yet, during this busy holiday, I have had time to meditate on this new year. 2008 was tumultuous to say the least. We endured a bloody, contentious political season. We elected a mysterious new leader of the free world. He seems to offer hope of a better future. I pray that he is able to deliver.
Our financial system took a hard hit in '08. The economy is completely out of whack. The future is uncertain. We are gambling with the kids college fund to keep us alive today. How can we hold off inflation with all of the money we are throwing at failed companies? Their is so much hatred and bloodshed in the world. Israel is in the middle of conflict again. Pakistan is building up its military on the Indian border. The U.S. continues to bomb the Taliban. Should I go on?
During my time of prayer and seeking the voice of the Shepherd, I believe I have heard His voice. Let me share with you what I heard:
"2009 will be a year of disaster, death and uncertainty. It will be a year of panic and fear.
But, for those who fear the Lord, it will be a year of opportunity and growth. The separation of darkness and light will increase. People will fear the Lord, or fear uncertainty and danger.
'I will show Myself strong, will protect and rescue those who fear Me. I will keep him in perfect peace, who keeps his mind fixed upon Me,' says the Lord."
During the next few weeks I will be teaching and writing about how to develop a closer relationship with God. If we get closer, I believe we will thrive in 2009.
Peace,
Stan
Now I am back in "work" mode. Well, one trip to Tulsa to get Morgan settled in for his first semester as a full time college student. Then, for sure, I will be in full swing. Yet, during this busy holiday, I have had time to meditate on this new year. 2008 was tumultuous to say the least. We endured a bloody, contentious political season. We elected a mysterious new leader of the free world. He seems to offer hope of a better future. I pray that he is able to deliver.
Our financial system took a hard hit in '08. The economy is completely out of whack. The future is uncertain. We are gambling with the kids college fund to keep us alive today. How can we hold off inflation with all of the money we are throwing at failed companies? Their is so much hatred and bloodshed in the world. Israel is in the middle of conflict again. Pakistan is building up its military on the Indian border. The U.S. continues to bomb the Taliban. Should I go on?
During my time of prayer and seeking the voice of the Shepherd, I believe I have heard His voice. Let me share with you what I heard:
"2009 will be a year of disaster, death and uncertainty. It will be a year of panic and fear.
But, for those who fear the Lord, it will be a year of opportunity and growth. The separation of darkness and light will increase. People will fear the Lord, or fear uncertainty and danger.
'I will show Myself strong, will protect and rescue those who fear Me. I will keep him in perfect peace, who keeps his mind fixed upon Me,' says the Lord."
During the next few weeks I will be teaching and writing about how to develop a closer relationship with God. If we get closer, I believe we will thrive in 2009.
Peace,
Stan
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